buddhism

maine

Two flags had dropped when we came home
proving their point of impermanence.
We felt changed when we came home,
a room emptied and the windows cracked –

in no hurry for anywhere.
Hearts kinder
as though judgment had lost it’s teeth
as though everything was ok.

I am between this and that,
relishing the heat on my bare back.
This harbours’ quiet –
that surging shore whose Artic current
lit you up,
drawing heat from cramped joints and conversations.

Nine summer nights
in our dinky double bunk room.
Plastic wrapped mattress, worn carpet tile,
pitch pines below
and the shrine room where the teacher sat.

‘OM MAMA RULU RULU HUM BHYO HUM’

And now back to wanting that –
the teacher,
the dharma,
the sangha,
taking refuge in all.
Longing for that broken hearted possibility of liberation.

no resistance

Lately I’ve noticed that I tend to approach interactions with the intention of being helpful i.e, listening, affirming, clarifying or advising (be it asked for or not). I think I do this to compensate for the subtle feeling that my presence is inadequate and needs to be supplemented through some practical offering. The implication that someone or something needs fixing can make me annoying (and a rescuer or enabler and the recipient disempowered). It becomes a way to avoid truly connecting with people as only ‘helpful me’ is showing up. And, it denotes a view of the world that life as it is always needs adding to; that reality is somehow deficient and should be made different. Continue reading